From Hi Love to Hello there ...

Dear Friend,

BABY!!! You are going to be a mother of two. Why do you think I do not want children? I have decided that I will only bring a child into this world when I meet a man worthy of me. Am I thinking too highly of myself?

I thought I came across as an observer of the world rather than one who is participating in various faiths as an expression of worship to God. I have had the privilege of getting to know people from the Jewish faith, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu and I had a roommate once who was an atheist – I must say not all of them are the same. I do not generalize. Yet I believe that there are people from all faiths who have a deep and personal relationship with God and I cant stand anyone who does the pointing finger. Who are we to judge? As an individual I always come back to Jesus – whatever it is I always come back to Jesus – I believe that Jesus came and manifested himself to a particular society to show the rest of us how to live life as a way to worship to God. I do not believe in the reference to the Universe as God – because I believe God created the Universe and I have no business having faith in the creation as opposed to the creator.

A deal breaker (in my view) is any faith that expects me to live by rules. I do not believe in rules, I believe as Paul did that in Christ we have absolute freedom there is no set way to do things but to live in perfect alignment with our faith and conscience. If nothing we do is not in faith and in alignment with our conscience - which of course is pre-determined to be in alignment with God’s when we allow him to be God in our lives – this is sin.

On your observation about nothing Godly coming from here, I think a lot of this has to do with the wide media coverage of everything that goes on in the global North however I think there is as much ungodliness in the rest of the world and we just do not get to hear much about it.

So my dear you should not be worried that I am taking on ecumenical adventures – these are merely observations.

Coelho - when I read Coelho I feel like I have found my soul mate. You should look up his history. One of the things I have learned about myself is that I think in straight lines, I wish I could say there are grey areas in life – but I can’t. Everything we do does not just happen there is always a context and so things only make sense to me when I know the roots.  I realize that he had to do so much soul searching to get to where he is and his books represent his journey in life. I find it very impressive yet I also look at witchcraft as the soul’s desperate need to touch the supernatural. I know it’s one of those experiences I have never and will never have the inclination of exploring (at least I can attest to being more in tune with who I am) but Coelho forced me to understand why people do it.  I think it has a lot to do with control, power and fear – everything away from what Jesus came to show us. I found Brida quite deep sort of like a soul searching guide.

So if is all over, our letters to each other used to start with 'Hi Love' Now its hello There. There is so much told in avoiding a name. Its almost as if he is doing all he can to make me invisible. As if I never was. 

I remember the time when he was my world and I wanted him to fight for me so bad. I still hoped. It’s funny, I had slight inklings of hope and fantasy that he would fight but after seeing the end of it all in an email a couple of days ago, I must admit my faith is pretty dead on this.

You have to tell your mother for me, I am not sure I can talk about it with anyone from scratch again. No energy for this anymore. It drains me. I still cry. Not as much as I used. As the years go slowly by I think the memory fades. The pain not so much, do you think I’ll ever heal? I distrust every man I meet who fancies me. 

I never meant to end on this note. Bummer!  Now it’s all on you to worry and feel sorry for me :(

Love

Me