Facade

"Trust me, you do not love me. You do not even need me as you are saying. If you did you would not say it. So let  it go and you will find out one day that this was only a figment of your imagination. You push  too hard, " she thought. He had been calling for days wanting to see her, claiming he was desperately in love with her, she knew it was lust- nothing more. So when she heard him go on and on about needing, she asked him what he meant and he said his heart needed her so much. The urgency in  his voice, put her off. She knew  how to distinguish between urgent and important and this one was just not it. So she smiled, gently and carefully, said she appreciated how he felt and told him he would get over it. Human beings and their mating habits, she mused. When life allows  you to experience it, in its full colors, you know, you understand what it is you want and do not want. You learn to listen not just with the heart  but to tones and eyes, and actions. For it is true that the actions speak louder than words. Sometimes they tell it all. Even after the phone call, there was more to deal  with. This one was going to be complicated, but she knew it was what her sister had told her. It was all for selfish motives. There are those who know  how to get by in life by going over everyone they meet to make their way, She had got involved, too deep though. The kind of involvement you do not even know you are in until  it is too deep to get out. And so she begun, to untangle the jumble. He appeared to care, to understand, but it was a facade. She knew what she had to do, to unravel this seemingly 'important' affair. As she narrated this mess, I knew what she had to do too. I did not  give any advice, or say how I thought it would be best. I knew that she would find a way out. I am watching, waiting to see  how it plays out...

Too much water has gone down the thing

Too much water has gone down the thing; am constantly bombarded by an emotional vortex. Sometimes I know who I am, other times am too confused that am not sure what to do with myself, so on days like today when the world is an irritable place and nothing makes sense, I sit and write, listen to Leona Lewis and hope that I can make use of the time I have in today, because if I do not, I will be in another pool of regret tonight. Since the semester ended, my body shut down its functions of resistance to fatigue, a horrible flu has overcome me, and Tiffany thinks its swine flu. I think it’s the body and mind finally giving in to being released of the tension and stress that it has been succumbed to for the past four months. Why have I not stopped? I think am running, running from achieving nothing and doing nothing. Yet there was a time I delighted in the pleasure of doing nothing, of reading for pleasure and writing, of reading poetry and smiling- now those things feel like last year to me; perhaps its because too much water has gone down the thing.