No future in the past

It has been one of those weeks where am not interested in writing down anything, my loss. Am reading what If you only had one month to live? I would most definitely get onto the first plane to Uganda and spend time with my family. We never have control of the date we are born or the date we die but we sure do have control over the in between and what we do with that is what counts for life. Am learning that its not slefish for me to invest in myself seeing as am not my own but was bought with a price therefore honouring God with my body is what counts for me. While at the gym this morning, this lady jumped on the trademill next to mine and she fell flat on her face, the trademill was moving while she got onto it and for about 10 or so seconds before I stopped mine and yelled for help the her face was on this moving mill. I had a rush of cold blood. She said she felt fine, quite traumatic I would say. later she said to me, " you can see how in no time we are done, I have been working out for three years and this has never happened to me." while we may never know what happens tomorrow we have control of the right nowm am learning that there is no future in the past and so the best I can do for myself is move on. Though the waves have been strong He gives inner peace. I walk as graceful as a duck yet underneath I puddle. God knows what its like. Jesus felt it, lonely and forsaken, that's how I felt days ago. No meaning to life, strange fears, confusions- He says to be still. In my pressures - to seek peace. In my complexities to seek simplicity. In His presence to find true purpose. And now I know that God always answers the deep questions of my soul.