Dinners, friends, musings

A few days ago, I realized from having more people come to the library that there was more to life than just working on email. Chatting with my CMRS buddies Annie and Carl brought a whole new world to my cocoon. It’s interesting how at a time when Uganda is fighting for a bill that will hang gay people, is when I find my first gay friend. I have heard of gay people but never quite had a friend. Everyone should meet Carl and even as I write this I hate the fact that am terming him as gay. He is open about it and is actually writing a thesis on gay and lesbian refugees which to be honest am interested in reading. I got a chance to ask about what gay means to an individual and also what people's ideas on relationships were. This was followed by a Yemeni dinner where one of us was gay, one is open to having a relationship with either a guy or lady whoever she feels a physic connection to, I am 'straight' whatever that means, and the other is in an open relationship. Any Ugandan reading this will wonder what kind of hell I went to. I think these are the most interesting people I have met this year, sexual orientations put aside. I am learning that we are so fast at defining people by their sexual orientation that the person ceases to matter. Ceases to be more than their sexual orientation, Is that what life is? What defines us and who we are? I am not here to change anyone after all am just another mortal being. At Halloween I went to a party where I had the chance to talk to Phil who has lived in Uganda for 3 years, and I must say I was glad to hear more comments on Uganda than the normal, ‘its beautiful, nice people!" He found out that Ugandans can be the most unsympathetic people when it comes to accidents, which is horrendous. He talked about getting down on his knees to help someone who had been knocked down by a car and helping while people would surround him and laugh- is this to say that it happens too often that people have taken life less seriously? He also noted that Ugandans are the most homophobic people when it comes to homosexuality and we are extremely closed minded. I like to think that am open minded, yet there are times I find myself being so critical of others as a result of differing views. This always brings me to my upbringing and the critical analysis comes down to the fact that a traditionally rooted society amplifies the African proverb, “to him who does not know a bush is a forest." I get irritated by Egyptians calling me ‘Samara’ but Ugandans do the same to ‘bazungu.” You just never realize how irritating it is until you get it, and hearing Phil’s exasperation at being called mzungu made me click. I find it strange when I get stared at as though I just walked out of a forest or some special jungle, today I walked into a store I always go to right opposite my apartment building and this boy stopped all he was doing and literally stared at me without blinking, I wanted to ask him whether his parents have not taught him how rude it is to stare, but it was his dad who was selling me stuff. I decided to let that pass. There have been a few incidents I would rather not share . I hope that one day; Egypt will be a place where women can be given an ounce or two of respect. I have just returned from dinner with Amanuel and his wife, She made me a special Eritrean/ Ethiopian meal which I must say was delicious! And then she polished my toe nails! I can’t quite remember when I got such treatment. I particularly liked injera this time, the first time I had it, I did not. Apparently it is just like maize, no nutritional value. Am back to my house which is becoming my shrine, I have a roommate I talk to on phone and that is about it, when I see her she is on her in or out. Some people say it’s a good thing, I would prefer to have a roommate to talk with for longer than ten minutes, but hey, am not complaining. I love the solitude and yet am afraid am getting overly comfortable in it. It’s been the one day since school started that I have stayed in all day and done no academic study- well sort of, I read a book and watched a movie on Migration. So not really I have studied but just at a different angle.