Arabic
is the language of love and poetry. I am not sure there is any other language
that makes poetry this beautiful – and I know only a little of it. “la la lala,
bas el sa… lei….wahash…eh la kulu… lei fey kulu, mel mel biti…keda mosh sahl…”
and it goes. I intentionally left out the ‘habibi’ part. This is why I have
said over and over again that I am going to learn Arabic until it’s the
language of my soul. Not to mention I have an Arab lover, he does not know this
yet but he will find out soon enough that I am the one he has been waiting for.
Sometimes I think he shut me out because once when I was harassed in Egypt I
told the world on Facebook, before I could determine who could and could not see my
postings that I hated Arab men. Do I sound like a stalker? Please do not
answer.
This
afternoon I am positioned as a writer sitting on a high bar like chair in the
kitchen overlooking lentil fields and listening to Arabic music. I had weird
dreams last night that I was sitting for a high school exam. Twice now I have
had the same dream. Either I am getting prepared for a test or there is some
kind of transformation coming up. I can’t really interpret dreams, yet I think
this one has some significance to it. He just asked me where my second trainer
was. I left my sneakers at the kitchen door adjoining the garage. He thinks the
wind blew it when it blew open the door. I can’t see it across the fields or
the yard. He thinks we should check at the next farm, because while he was
fixing the Volvo head light for our trip tomorrow he left the garage outward
door open and the dogs from the farm across could have taken it. We leave
tomorrow at exactly 11:15am.
Last week at 11:45am there was a sizzling
border guard who seemed sweet on me at the border. So we have decided that
whenever we have to go to Canada we will leave when he is at his shift. This is
what it has come to. Even if nothing happens with him, this will be enough eye
candy. I decided to start heading across the other farm on foot, he came driving
towards me and said he had found it at the next farm. It was right by the door.
Why or why do dogs think this is funny? These are the best sneakers I have had
in my life! They are grey and pink and are Nike’s! Even though they cost about
$100 dollars I was only given them as a gift. I have already spent an hour
trying to understand the mind of a dog. Why steal a shoe and take it to your
home and leave it outside the front door? If you are stealing anything go hide
it. And then there were shoes right at the front door belonging to him and yet
they still went for mine that were in the garage! My sense is that they came
looking for the English mastiff we put to sleep and because she is nowhere to
be found, they probably think the person with the new smell must have something
to do with her whereabouts.
You
know how therapists think that when you finally start raising your voice as
opposed to being polite there is hope for a relationship. Well, I just raised
my voice in an email to my ex who clearly has some kind of moral or mental
problem: is there a difference? And even I know this is the end, or it was a
long time. I am so fed up of being polite and going around in circles. When I
listen to Amr Diab singing ‘B2adem 2lby’ I honestly feel like I am making love
and when I listen to Wust-el Balad singing, ‘Arabily’ I think of the main
singer’s eyes. I used to hang out with him and his friends at a little coffee
shop on Falaki Street in Cairo. I tried having a crush on him but I kept
remembering that he was married.
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